Staying positive in life can mean the difference between handling the ups and down of life and allowing the Ups to be consumed by the Downs. So how does one stay positive? First you must surround yourself with people who are also positive, because positivity isn’t an attitude, it’s a way of life.
Hanging around negative people, more effectively than hanging around positive people, influences your attitude negatively. Remember the old retail saying, “A happy customer will tell one person, an unhappy customer will tell 10.” There is a reason for that, and the fact that you can remember every negative situation in your life, but very few positive situations.
The reason is survival.
If you see your fellow mouse BFF get eaten, you’ll remember to stay away from where or what ate her for the rest of your life. Whereas food and fun will be found in many many places, and that memory will only last until the food and the fun is gone from that place. Being on the beach, enjoying life ten years ago, is hard to remember without a picture of the beach. But stepping on the dead swollen jellyfish that scared you to Kingdom Come fifteen years ago on a totally different beach is still foremost on your mind. One cannot just decide to be positive, one must live the positivity day to day, so when a Down comes knocking on your door, you have the tools to work through it.
Tools.
What ARE tools? Tools are the perspectives we have on how we should conduct ourselves in any given situation. For instance, if we have the proper tools concerning honesty we’ll more likely be naturally honest in situations where honesty or dishonesty could be exercised.
If we have the correct tools on how to handle violent situations, we’ll be more likely not to join in the violence when offered. Not only can these tools prevent us from engaging in negative behavior, but can go so far as to be able to help other people through the situation.
These tools are numerous and tell us how to conduct our day to day lives, from how to be in relationships to how to love another person. All three of the long term relationships you’ve had needed more and better tools. And as we go through life we acquire some of those tools. How do you get the rest of the tools you need, even though you have NO idea what those tools are?
Read positive books.
There are some amazing authors out there like Dr. Wayne Dyer, and Jack Canfield who write some great books on staying positive as well as turning a negative life around. The premise that you can attract positivity to your life really is true, and only the negative people will tell you it isn’t. They haven’t learned what you are learning.
As you place yourself in the company of your positive friends, not only do you acquire the attitude of “I can do this” but opportunities to prove that pops up just because THEY can see those opportunities in front of you. Sooner or later, you acquire their ability to see the opportunity yourself! Positivity does feed on itself but you have to consciously nurture it until it becomes natural. Negativity is the default. If you don’t make the conscious effort, negativity will reside fat, dumb and happy wherever it isn’t challenged.
Here you are going to be a positive person and you tell all your friends. The positive ones all say good for you. The negative ones squeal to high heaven. Why? Because they don’t want to be left behind, they are in their little negative corner of the world and they not only do not want to get out of it, but they want YOU to stay there with them. “That staying positive crap doesn’t work, because as soon as you try to be positive, something bad happens.” What they don’t tell you is, anything that happens, can be turned into one of the most positive situations imaginable just by looking for the opportunity.
Easier said than done, you say. Well, breast cancer for a good friend prompted her to start a non-profit foundation for breast cancer victims. That in turn has already helped dozens of fellow survivors and family members alike to recognize they CAN make a difference within their community. And the foundation, called SuddenlyPiNK.ORG is still in its infancy.
To get your journey started to the positive side of life, here are seven highly recommended books to start the process, something to start the Ferris wheel of a happier life to start turning. These are in no particular order, some are older books but still relevant, others are more recent additions. And of course if you click on the titles, you’ll be taken over to where you can read more about them and purchase them.
- Your Erroneous Zones. By Wayne Dyer
- When I Say No, I Feel Guilty. By Manuel J. Smith
- Women Who Think Too Much. By Susan Nolen-Hoeksema
- You Are A Badass. By Jen Sincero
- Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff, By Richard Carlson, PH.D.
- The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People. By Stephen Covey.
- The Success Principles. By Jack Canfield
The following list of books is more specifically about relationships, although you can love your life without a mate, as well as have a wonderful life with a mate.
- Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. By, John Gray, PH.D.
- Why Men Love Bitches. By Sherry Argov
- Hold Me Tight. By Dr. Sue Johnson
- Girl, Wash Your Face. By Rachel Hollis
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Stay tuned, more to come!!!
Images courtesy Pexel.
I think it is quite serendipitous that I came upon this article. Ever since I have been listening to Abraham-Hicks on how you create your reality by the way you feel, I have been trying my best to “feel positive” all of the time. Right now I am a single, stay at home mom and struggling with my finances, and I know that I am perpetuating it with my poverty mindset. I want to trick myself into having fun everyday and waking up positive. Maybe the negative momentum has built up too much and maybe I just need to ride it out ? I also listen to audio books by Dr. Wayne Dyer – he also talks about the importance of being happy all of the time. But for me, I know that when I go to sleep at night that is my opportunity to “reset” my mindset. Its really hard though I wake up at 6 am because my son is jumping up and down on the bed ready to go and I am like “Oh god not another day….” and I just KNOW that mindset right there sets me off for the rest of the day. What is a better way that I can reprogram myself to be positive? Like what can I do right when I am rudely waken in the morning by my toddler to create the right mindset? I want to create positive momentum!
Sophia, I have found myself in similar situations, not as a single stay at home mom, of course. But having first a poverty mindset but also, nothing to wake up for. There was that need to roll over and cover my head up and wait for the world to just go by, just leave me out of it. And I was WAY down in the bottom of a pit. So, right off the bat, your son is a gift, no matter what those circumstances are, remember he is jumping on the bed because of you. You are the one who he thinks walks on water. You are his world, and later when he’s old enough to talk back or be rude, remember you are his world now. You are as close to a real live superhero as he will ever meet. Look at all the football players and the race car drivers and they mouth the words “Hi Mom” when you point the camera at them. Secondly, you’re working on getting over the whole poverty mindset, listening to Wayne Dyer, and Abraham-Hicks! Congrats, that’s the first BIG step! Thirdly, all that hocus pocus about changing how you look at stuff, will change how your life is.. WORKS. I am really really living proof of that. And without going into detail, things are thrown at you every day that will help you right now. You just can’t see them, you’re not looking for them. If you get up tomorrow morning and start LOOKING for ways to help yourself, they will become evident. All of a sudden, you realize, “Hey, I can clean the lady’s house next door for a few dollars every week, and my little guy can follow me around!” Just start asking yourself, how can I make this work out for me. None of this once a day stuff in the mirror, ask yourself that 50 times a day! And really LOOK for the answer. Try that tomorrow, and then send me another message tomorrow night, telling me how it worked! Good luck, I’ll be thinking of you! And believe me, I have come THROUGH some stuff to get to this point! You can too, Sophia!
Steve
Hi Carol,
Thanks for taking the time to write this inspirational post about being more positive in life. I really appreciate you sharing it.
It’s so true that being positive has such an amazing effect on your quality of life and even you health. It’s also true that who you hang around is who you become – so if you want to be more positive, then you should hang around positive people. Thank you also for your list of recommended books. I have not read a few of the titles on there so I will add them to my list.
Thanks again Carol.
Cheers,
Shane
Shane, you’re right, it’s important to be around positive people, I select my tribe very carefully and deliberately!
Thank you for reading,
Carol
Great Post, one book that travels with me (I have limited space) is The Success Principals. Reading this post is a timely reminder that its time for a reread. Another great book that I adore is Tony Robbins, The Giant Within. Whilst not strictly on positive emotions, setting goals and digging deep can create satisfaction and along with it, a positive outlook.You are so correct when you say that we remember the bad things. So many people could live a much happier life if they only treasured what was good in their life.
I look forward to your next post
KerryAnn, Tony Robbins is one of my all time favorite authors! So it’s great to hear someone else likes him, AND his books! Thanks for coming by, and come by again, more posts on the way!
Steve
Being positive means that you want to see the bright side of things in your life. Train your mind to find a positive viewpoint in a negative situation. Be grateful for each and everything you have In your life. Thinking positive about you and your life is a key to happiness. Do good for others and be patient and optimistic in life. I really enjoyed reading this article, thanks for sharing.
Bushra, Glad you liked it! I think you’re absolutely positively right! And finding positive in everything is a key point, if you can truly do this, there will always be negative, it just won’t have the control to drag you down with it.
Steve
Hi! Thank you very much for these book recommendations! I’m seeking one to give a friend as a present, and one of your list would be excellent! Which one would you recommend for a teenager?
Concerning being positive in life, I just heard this joke today: Three guys meet. One is an optimist, the other is a pessimist and the third is a chemist. The first sees the glass half full. The second sees the glass half empty. But the chemist sees the glass completely full! Wao! How can that be? Yeah, half with liquid and half with air. Have a nice day! 🙂
Henry, welcome to our website. Is this teenager a boy or a girl, the two first books I read were The Seven Habits, By Stephen Covey, and Your Erroneous Zones, By Wayne Dyer. Either one of those would be great for a boy, especially Erroneous Zones because the title is very close to a sexual connotation, (which it has NOTHING to do with) and we both know how boys are at that age! That would get his interest quickly! My choice for a girl, and my wife agrees, she loves this book, would be, You Are A Badass, By Jen Sincero. i did read that book myself and yes, it’s an AWESOME book for girls, mores than for boys, but boys can learn from it also! I think one of her next few posts will be a book review for the Badass book. Good Luck, hope this helps! Loved the joke!
Steve