What is it? Is it the love you get from Mom? Maybe your spouse?
All love has conditions.
Some of those conditions are easy, some are rather difficult. Some are even impossible. Most of Mom’s conditions are fairly easy, be a good kid, wash your face, brush your teeth. Some of Mom’s conditions can be downright impossible, though. “Marry someone I choose to accept, and be happy with them, even though I wasn’t successful in choosing someone I could be happy with.”
Loving yourself can also be impossible, especially when your inner self keeps telling you, you haven’t been worth 2 cents since the time you kissed that ugly boy Tommy, in second grade. UGH! (or maybe it was Betty… Ugly Betty.) And your inner self, day in and day out, reminds you of every OTHER bad thing you’ve ever done in your life.
Loving yourself is the foundation of loving your life.
It IS something you can learn! How do you go about learning that? You start to talk back to that inner self. Put it in it’s place. It’s there to tell you that you’re great at being you. Allowing yourself to make mistakes is a learned personality trait. It can be the basis of learning to love oneself. Once you do this you can forgive yourself for the lousy life you thought you had and start remembering the GOOD times you had. The stuff you’ve accomplished in your life!
What you did right.
You learned how to ride a bike! You hiked up that fourteener mountain and made it back! You bought your own car! You fed a family of three kids until they left home! What else have you learned in your life that you ignore day in and day out because you keep thinking about that one large, but forgivable mistake?
Something as important as picking a mate isn’t taught in school.
We all make mistakes, some of them bigger than other mistakes. Choosing the wrong mate is a big mistake, you’ve beaten yourself up about it for 10 years, and you divorced that person 8 years ago and haven’t seen him or her in 7 years, 10 months, 24 days, and two hours ago.
We all make those mistakes. Except the people who are born into families who do have all the tools in the first place on how to love oneself, choose a mate, how to take care of a family, how to feed a baby, how to clothe a kindergartner. Few of us are. Actually, I haven’t met anyone who was born into a family with all that information.
We need to forgive ourselves.
But we still kick ourselves like a pinball machine on TILT because we can’t keep a mate. When all we need to do is LEARN! Get a little help! Do you think Arnold Palmer had a perfect swing the first time he swung a golf club? He probably hated it. He had to learn! Look what a love affair he has with golf now!
We need to let the BAD go. Focus on the good! We need to forgive ourselves.
With persistence, a little knowledge, and practicing the things you’ll learn, you’ll be able to love yourself and
LOVE YOUR LIFE!
You first need to learn how to love yourself, unconditionally.
And THEN you can learn how to LOVE YOUR LIFE with someone else!
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Love your life by making yourself look and feel younger… unconditionally!