I feel so relieved that I said that OUT LOUD!
And, well, it’s true.
We are all liars, unfortunately. Who do we lie to? The biggest lies are crushed inward, from us, TO us, and do the most monumental damage. So, STOP IT!
Easier said than done, I know, because I’m still working on it myself. It’s a daily fight, with myself, to know who I am and be fine with it. Embracing my faults and loving every one of them. Boy, is it exhausting!
Why we lie to ourselves…
Do you remember when you were a youngster and you heard so many positive things about yourself that, perhaps, you started to believe were being given to you under some pretense or another?
Can you remember a nice thing someone said to you when you were younger? How about something that hurt you terribly? I’m guessing you might be able to come up with both, but the second is much easier to remember.
Pain cuts deep, and as if that’s not bad enough, as a young human being, we began to believe the lies people said. STOP IT!
Here we are, adults.
As adults we have become so used to hearing the negative, we stopped believing our own truth and replaced it with lies we owned. We owned those words people said to us, we lived a lie and forgot who we were.
We began to think we aren’t good enough, or we’ll never be good enough, or perhaps you tell yourself how ugly you are, or how you will never find a spouse because “all the good ones are taken”.
For me, my lies to myself are that I talk too much, I am fat so people don’t like me, I’m not good enough to get a high paying job, I’ll never make money enough to retire, and the list goes on. Each and every one of those things is how I beat myself down each and every day.
Negative Ninny…
Each time I lie to myself I am creating a negative cloud that I can feel form around my head, then expand downward to my itty-bitty toes. That cloud engulfs me and allows that negativity to just fester into a huge festering wound consisting of negativity galore.
Now, ask yourself, first, am I guilty of this? Second, ask yourself why on earth you would want that gross negative cloud hanging on and around you each day. Honestly, think about it. Isn’t there already enough negativity in this world?
Do you really want to perpetuate it? If you are one of those people who don’t mind feeling and acting like Eeyore each and every day, well, obviously, this article is not for you. And yes, those people actually exist.
However, in YOUR case, I’m going to assume you began reading this article to NOT be a Negative Ninny and just need some insight into how your lies you tell yourself are increasing and replicating this nasty thing we call negativity.
Embrace your lies…
We all know our reality. If not, we are truly fooling ourselves. I can list every single thing I could find fault with looking inward, but I don’t, because…WHY? I am fully aware of who I am and yet I still find the need to keep my thoughts positive on a daily basis.
I am who I am, and I absolutely refuse to allow anyone else to steal my personal power, let alone give it away! I embrace my lies. I can tell myself all the great things about me each and every day and not give way to the negative.
I fill myself up with accolades, positive affirmations, and all things YUMMY instead of negative. No negativity, no cloud! It’s that easy! No matter how much you weigh, you will immediately feel the weight being lifted and your mind clearing.
Hold onto your personal power.
By embracing those lies you have believed from others, owned, and pulled inward to rehash each and every moment of every day, you will hold onto your precious personal power and feel the positivity emerge, breaking all bonds with anyone else’s attempt to possess your power.
Send it out to the Universe…
I know that everything isn’t roses and candy all the time and you may be thinking, well, isn’t it a lie to not lie to myself? Wait, what? This isn’t really about the lying, it’s more about doing what’s best for you, and believing, or worse yet, OWNING the lies you have been told by others, is not going to help you in life AT ALL.
Don’t just believe the positivity, send it out to the universe! Bleed it, sneeze it, love it, embrace it, and I can guarantee you will feel it lift you up in so many ways.
An idea.
I recently listened to Jen Sincero’s, You Are a Badass. I purchased it months ago, and “never had the time”. Another lie I tell myself…CONSTANTLY. Talk about a kick in the butt!
Her humor had me engaged right from the start, but the more I listened, the more I found myself shooting my fist into the air in some sort of HELL YES gesture, even though no one in my surroundings (usually in traffic as I listened and drove) knew why and I probably looked like a crazed individual.
WHO CARES!?
I was totally ready to go! I knew what I needed and sometimes that means a leap of faith. I felt the air around me lightening and my head becoming clearer. I learned that it was time to take that step and stop worrying about what people think. I will be a positive person.
I will sweat positivity out of every pore in my body, speak positivity with every word, and live positivity in all I do. I will lift up, but know my responsibility is to myself, not others, and by lifting myself, or others, up, I have become the best person I was meant to be.
It’s so ingrained…
Right after hearing (feeling) the words of Ms. Sincero, I latched on to yet another book. Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be, by Rachel Hollis. See the title? Sound familiar?
All those lies you are owning are doing nothing but, in Rachel’s words, “holding you back”. It’s really amazing how easily we own the negativity and have gotten so used to it that it becomes the natural thing to do.
Positivity has to be learned.
Positivity, now, has to be learned because we got so used to all the B.S. we were telling ourselves, that we now have to think and retrain our brains. Sad isn’t it. Why is it easier for you to believe something negative about yourself than something positive? For example, someone you know tell you how beautiful you are.
What is your first response, inside your head and perhaps that comes out of your mouth? Mine would be something of the deflective or sarcastic nature like, “oh yeah, I took a shower this morning”, all the while thinking inside my head, they were so sweet to say that just to make me feel better.
Wait. Someone just mentioned how beautiful I look, and everything in my head is of a negative nature. Nah, not me. I’m not beautiful. What do they want? They hate my new haircut. They hate my new glasses. I must have my eyeliner on too thick. Do I have a nose hair poking out? Why is it so complicated?
Moving on…
Today is the day. If you are like me and need help, then read the two books I listed above, and there are so very many more. I would love to be on this journey with you, as I continue to grow and learn, and begin to hit one lie after another and come out with even more positivity.
Always remember, when you put positivity out there, you will begin to see and feel it come back to you. As Willie Nelson said, “Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” Putting good things out there, brings good back to you tenfold in many, and unexpected ways.
Do it for you… Blessings, Love, and Positivity!
Leave us a comment, tell us how you feel!
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Hi friend,
Thanks so much for writing this useful article for all of us. This really applies to me. Sometimes i find myself comparing my own abilities to that of other people and then when I realize that there things people of my age do which I can’t do then I start to feel negative. And negativity can be very harmful to our health. In actual fact it can even make us feel so low that we think we have NO value at all, which is a complete lie.
I think it is about time to tell myself that I’m a BIG LIE. Also, stop comparing my own abilities to other people since we all have some unique abilities. Your article was indeed very helpful reading. Once again, thank you for sharing with us.
Stephen.
Hello, Stephen! Thank you for your validating comment. It truly is an issue not just with adults, but as I sit in my sixth grade classroom and see these students coming in and saying those types of things aloud about themselves, it became quite alarming. I always knew the power of positivity but always told myself that I was ignorant to just focus on the positive. WHY???? Truthfully, we only hurt ourselves (believe it or not physically, not just mentally) when we focus on negativity and nastiness. I began to stop watching the news. I don’t consider that creating an ignorant lifestyle, rather I am CHOOSING for the best of my own well being, to stop reading all the negative things going on. I pray for the world every day, at least twice, and know that I don’t need to know everything happening to know it’s bad.
Comparing ourselves to others has always been done. But you aren’t anyone else, and neither am I. And that’s where I feel we have erred. Focusing on yourself is also very difficult. But if you think about it this way…if you feel you are inadequate at anything, NOT compared to so-and-so, but YOURSELF, then you know where to start to move forward to love who you are, or improve yourself because it’s what YOU want. No one can motivate you like YOU can! Thanks again for your comment! C
I love this post! I have had to come through a lot of work of reconditioning my disempowering subconscious beliefs that were ingrained in me as a child. It is amazing how many people are unaware of their self talk and how it impacts their life experience. I read that book by Jen Sincero and it was so spot on. We are all taught to look outside ourselves for approval and validation but sometimes the people who surround us or influence us are suffering from poor self esteem and diminishing self talk and beliefs. I am super happy to see content such as yours as I think it is important that people awaken to their own true self empowerment. Positive affirmations and consistent practice of body positive activities and self talk helped my exponentially in understanding who I really am and what I am capable of despite being a childhood abuse survivor. It is so important to take responsibility for ourselves and how we are in the world. The Six Pillars of Self Esteem was a great read too and quite relevant to a topic such as this. Thank you for this awesome contribution. If everyone believes and performs from a place of truth and empowerment about our innate capabilities and unlimited possibilities, the world can really be changed for the better. Keep up the great work and thank you again!
I love this post! I have had to come through a lot of work of reconditioning my disempowering subconscious beliefs that were ingrained in me as a child. It is amazing how many people are unaware of their self talk and how it impacts their life experience. I read that book by Jen Sincero and it was so spot on. We are all taught to look outside ourselves for approval and validation but sometimes the people who surround us or influence us are suffering from poor self esteem and diminishing self talk and beliefs. I am super happy to see content such as yours as I think it is important that people awaken to their own true self empowerment. Positive affirmations and consistent practice of body positive activities and self talk helped my exponentially in understanding who I really am and what I am capable of despite being a childhood abuse survivor. It is so important to take responsibility for ourselves and how we are in the world. The Six Pillars of Self Esteem was a great read too and quite relevant to a topic such as this. Thank you for this awesome contribution. If everyone believes and performs from a place of truth and empowerment about our innate capabilities and unlimited possibilities, the world can really be changed for the better. Keep up the great work and thank you again!
Hi Bex, and thank you so much for your comment! I absolutely agree! You are spot on with all your realization and comments. Honestly, it has become so commonplace in my classroom for kids to talk badly about themselves, call themselves stupid, or an idiot, that it alarmed me on all levels. About then is when we began doing a special warm up each day where we talk about a positive quote on my agenda that I added and talk about how to love ourselves. We get around to content eventually! I promise, but truly, in today’s world with so much suicide within our younger adults, it’s time we focus on ourselves and really get to know ourselves in the capacity of the love factor, not what we have done wrong or how smart we feel we are. Your words hit it, girl! Thanks for taking the time to read and validate!
Totally needed to read this this morning! Been forgetting to take time for myself, and getting down on myself too easily. I do have a question though, do you have a morning routine that helps you start your day? I have heard that it is a great way to let go of things and start fresh. I just don’t know what that looks like really..
I will definitely be purchasing the books.
Thanks for this 🙂
Sorry it’s been taking me so long to respond! I am absolutely overwhelmed by the responses to the blog post. I knew it was something I have fought for so long and knew others more than likely did as well, but finally got around to putting my words together, so thank you so much for reading!
I think all moms need to seriously focus on this each and every day. As a mother of four and a Nana to eight grandchildren, I know the feeling. We say we never took time for ourselves because we gave all to our family. Right? Too tired to take 30 minutes to feel great about yourself? I always think about the flight attendants telling the adults to put their oxygen masks on first so they are still conscious to take care of their little ones. Why don’t we do that every day?
My morning usually consists of AT LEAST 30 minutes of my own pampering time. I will say that Hubby takes care of the pups (feeding, pottying, etc.) so I’m not too late for work. But, it’s still the ME time I need. That’s just the pampering time I need. Then, as I’m driving to work, I plug in Audible and listen to an uplifting book, like Jen Sincero’s book, and it has me shaking my head each and every day as I listen and feel as though surely this author, whomever it happens to be, has been following me in my life and is directly speaking to my lack of “me loving” that is necessary. There is nothing better than realizing what you need to do is REALLY ABLE TO BE DONE! And, always remember, YOU ARE WORTH IT! Thanks for your comment!
What a wonderful blog with such good advice! I quickly read all your blogs and believe this site will help any individual (optimist or pessimist) to become a more positive person.
Your blogs are just the right length; easy to read; and have wonderful visuals that show the emotions that we have all had. It was very easy for me to say out loud “I’ve been there and done that”.
Thanks so much!
Roger, Thanks for the pat on the back! A lot of people have been there, done that! We hope this helps people who “have been there”, but haven’t completed the “done that” part of it. Check back often, leave us a comment, let us know we’re on the right track!
Carol and Steve